funny things lawyers have said...

The following questions are from lawyers and were taken from official court records nationwide...

1. Q: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

2. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

3. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

4. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

5. How long have you been a French Canadian?

6. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

7. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

8. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

9. So you were gone until you returned?

10. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

11. You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

12. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

13. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

This is all real and all totally hilarious! (from www.coolfunnyjokes.com)

NEW! - jokes

Lawyer Joke - "Smartest Man in The World"
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble.

In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live."

He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

(from www.coolfunnyjokes.com)

Done with Twilight?

Many people have enjoyed the Twilight series because of its involvement with vampires and werewolves and all sorts of mythical creatures. But now that those readers are finished, they don't know what books to read. My suggestion? The House Of Night Series. In my opinion, it is even better than Twilight! It's become increasingly popular since the first book, Marked, came out. New books are still coming seeing as the series is not yet complete, so if you get into it, you still have time to tag along and be part of the excitement! (suggested for ages 13+)

Video Recap

This video is a recap of my first post!

Paramore

Paramore, an alternative/pop band (that I love!!!), has a new album that comes out September 29th. The new album is called "Brand New Eyes". You can even pre-order the CD at the following site:

http://www.paramore.net/

Paramore has two CDs ("Riot!" and "All We Know Is Falling"), a live-concert CD/DVD, and two songs ("Decode" and "I Caught Myself") on the Twilight movie soundtrack.

As for touring, Paramore will be all over CA for part of this month. To find out more, go to the following site:

http://www.myspace.com/paramore

Black Eyed Peas

The Black Eyed Peas's song "Boom Boom Pow" was the number one song last week. Usually a song stays in number one for a few days then starts to move to a different spot on the top ten list until it's bumped off completely. But for Boom Boom Pow? No! This song has been number one for over two weeks now. Another song of the BEP, "I Gotta Feeling", has been number two for over two weeks. This group, with Fergie, will.i.am, Taboo, and apl.de.ap, was a very popular hip-hop group in 2003 when their album "Elephunk" earned them their fame. At one point however, the group faded into the backround. Especially as Fergie made her own album. Now, however, in 2009, the group is back and as popular as ever.

Pendragon by D.J. MacHale

The newest Pendragon book, book ten, came out May 12th. It is called "The Soldiers of Halla" and is the final book in the series. It has been quite a few years since the first book, "Merchant of Death" came out, but now it is ending. Will Bobby save Halla? For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about and have never read any of the Pendragon books, I suggest you search the internet to learn what it is about. It is too complex to explain, but that is a good thing; the series is intriguing, action-packed, and one of my favorites. And that is something to say for somebody who reads all the time. Also, for those of you who have read the Pendragon books and may be wondering, that is Saint Dane behind Bobby on the cover of the book.

Extinct Because of Humans

Did you know that in the past century, all of the following types of butterflies/moths have gone extinct? The cause? Global warming. The cause of global warming? Humans.

1. Black-veined White
2. Mazarine Blue
3. Large Blue
4. Isle of Wight Wave
5. Frosted Yellow
6. Speckled Beauty
7. Small Ranunculus
8. Gypsy
9. Flame Brocade
10. Orache Moth
11. Union Rustic
12. Viper's Bugloss

and more. There are more than this number that are now endangered. Think of butterflies the next time you decide not to shut down your computer when you're finished. That's honestly all you have to do to help save the environment; click a few buttons. A healthy environment will keep butterflies and many other species alive.

Fixing The Environment

There is beauty everywhere, everyway, everyday, in all corners of the world. The beauty includes the millions of species of plants and animals in the world. These species need us and we need them. 100 species go extinct each day. In essence, that is 100 possible cures for cancer/diseases that humans are destroying. If we do not fix things, there will be nothing left; we will be just one of the 100 species disappearing each day.

So, let's fix things. It's simple really. "Reduse, reuse, recycle," is what everybody says, right? Well let's add: "Reduse, reuse, recycle, respect." It's that simple. As was said online at mesagoinggreen.com, "We can't do everything, but we can do something."

Do you want to do something, but you don't know what to do? Take two minutes out of your day, no more, and go to this link:
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/player/environment/going-green-environment/conservation-in-action/this-bulb-ngv.html
It's worth it. I promise.